I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize