This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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