I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
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Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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