There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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