If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
