She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize