also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
