i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
