I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
