So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize