I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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