JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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