as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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