on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
