Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
