just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize