Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
