I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish you could order shots online.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
