I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
