i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
