i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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