in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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