Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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