I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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