Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
