So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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