dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize