I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
