OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
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