Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize