he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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