Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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