I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize