Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
