Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
