how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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