is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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