The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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