I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I didn't notice because vodka
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize