Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
