did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
