didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
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