Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
