Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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