He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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