We named our party play list daddy issues
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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