Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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