I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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