Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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