I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
