like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
A+ Viking dick
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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