i already hear my dad disowning me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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