You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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