i dont even know how to be here
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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