Nicole vs. Life
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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