Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
