I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊