he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
